A photo that was taken at my relative graduation
“A song for mama” by Boys 2 men is playing
A song that has been accompanying me since I was a high school boy. I don’t know what kind of drug this song has till I get addicted. Listening to it makes me feel like I always near with my lovely mom. Even though distance, in fact, separates us. I love you mom.

From hearsays today 21 Des, 2013 is Mother’s Days. Mothers in a big city, of course, want to be treated well by their children. On the other way, their children are also competing to make their mothers happy. What about me ? What about my mother ? Not even familiar with that prototype.

I don’t know what my mom feels right now. Since I moved to this country I have only called her for about 6 or 7 times. You may call me a damage son or what. But she never called me either, if I didn’t call her. I don’t know whether she misses me or not. I don’t know whether she sick of me like I always do or not.

She is a tough mother who never says NO for the sake of her son’s happiness. When I talk to her about my intention to study abroad, you know what her responses was? She says, "I don’t know. Ask your father. If he says yes, then yes." That was the time when everything was still uncertain. But you know what she whispers me when I was about to sign that paper. "Don’t you think Jogja, the place that you’ve been considering to get there since you was 2nd grade of high school, might be better?" 
My reply was like "but this opportunity might not come for twice mom.You know I’ve always been dreaming to study abroad since long times ago."  "You know what is better for you, son."

Saying I love you is not something common between us. Even less, kissing or hugging are not part of our culture. But you know how envy I am, watching people hugging and kissing their mom to show how far are theirlove to their mom. You know how I hate this custom? That’s not something rude or what. People do that. Again I don’t know why my mom never accustoms us to do that touching things.

May be she has different perspective. May be she has different way to show how great is her affection towards us. May be I have to open my eye wider or should I use eyeglasses then I can see what is now misted.

In this mother’s day I want to shout out to the world that I love you so much mom. You have no I idea how freak I am thinking of you. Thinking of how I can make you happy, make you smile. Stop making you get sweaty, because to much working. I want you like that mothers, stay at home or go out only for shopping. I want to provide million books for you that you can read every time you want. Not like today, you have to spend the whole time looking for things; that has no benefit for you.  

I have two women who are affectionate me the way I am. One has just left for heaven a couple months ago. I wish God places her in a great place. She deserves it. I love you too granny. Forgive me for absent in your funeral.

Don’t expect too much! My mom will never read the outpouring heart of his son. Never!. I will not send her this romantic letter, though. Can we name this romantic?

Still and all, I do believe that God has already whispered what I feel into her heart even far before I wrote this letter. 

Turkey, Des 21, 2013