A State of Melancholy

courtesy of redbubble.com

I didn't know that there are people out there who like it being in a state of melancholy. There are at least two people who confessed that they like it being in a state of melancholy: Orhan Pamuk and Jamaica Kincaid. Well, these are no regular people. They are established artists. They literally create "something." And, the process to do what they do certainly not easy. You have to set the right mood for the inspiration to flow fluidly into your imaginative minds. And that requires you to be in a state of solitude and melancholy.

 

At first, I found this statement weird or eccentric rather, "so cliché!" I would say. But as I observe myself, I think I have to admit that I am also one of those overly cliché people. The only difference is that I am a no body. Not an artist, nor a creative person.

 

How did I know that I like a state of melancholy? For one thing, I like being alone. Well, perhaps the right way to put it is that it doesn’t drive me crazy to be alone. Quite the opposite, I find being alone quite stimulating. I can talk with myself about the world, about my feeling and about whatever things that the world throws at me.

 

Also, if you check my Spotify, almost 90% of them is the hotel lobby kind of song. Slow rhythm with lyrics about unsatisfied life. Not always about love. It could also talk about the dissatisfaction with one's own world.

 

I feel like being alone gives me room to organize my thoughts - and ultimately my life. I find myself more productive when I am alone (as opposed to being around a lot of people). I think this has to do with my personality that likes routines, plans, and predictability. Don't confuse plans with execution. Plans do not necessarily mean that you have to follow your "to do list" religiously in a sequential order - instead, plans mean that you have direction. You are not walking on an impulse.  It is easy to get distracted in this life, or simply live a life in a state of constant intoxication. Yes, that's what I think of those people who have no clear realization of what's going on in their lives. They don't plan ahead, they just do life as it goes. They are care-free. On the one hand this is good, because you won't ever feel depressed. But on the other hand, you live a lamb kind of life.

Now I can totally relate with what they say about being melancholic. I think what prompts my initial reaction was a simple misunderstanding. I thought when they say "the state of melancholy", they refer to a state of being utterly and miserably sad, and that they like to be drawn in that self-pitying situation. Of course I was wrong. They were obviously referring to a constructive situation in which the person could express the creative side of their brain. The former, however, leans more towards a destructive side.

 

In my case, I think I, too, am more productive when I am melancholic / alone. If I could rewind my life on a live video, I could see the instances where melancholy produces a positive results to my life. I hope it's still true. I mean, who runs listening to melancholic songs and find it motivating? Or, who reads or writes more when he is frustrated with life?

 

So, it's totally ok to like melancholy, if that brings you more positivity!