It is fair to say that I am a future-oriented person. Before I finished elementary school, I had already decided where I would do my middle school. The same thing has repeated over and over again until today.
Now that I am in the first semester of my master's degree, I naturally question what I want to do next. You might guess that I want to at least dream (if not plan) about my PhD. But that does not seem to be the case. Quite the opposite, pursuing yet another higher education does not seem to be what I want to do next. Instead, I have been obsessing over the idea of owning a house.
"What are you, a middle-aged man?"
I know, right? I can't help it. It has been dominating my conscience. I even joined Facebook groups that sell houses or offer mortgaged houses in Jakarta and its neighboring cities like Tangerang, Depok, and Bekasi. Having been fed with the house advertisements in those groups, I knew that my chance to own a house in Jakarta is very slim. It seems that if I really want to live and own a house in Jakarta, it has to be in the suburbs that are far from the city center like Sawangan, Cibinong, and Parung. Even then, you won't get a house with decent back and front yards. Anyway, I guess I will rest that thoughts there for a while.
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| Courtesy of the Notebook (film) |
I have touched on this topic before, in which I concluded that my desire to own a house stamps from the fact that I have moved around a lot. I basically stayed with my parents only for the first 12 years of my life. After the age of 12, I have been moving around: 3 years in boarding school, 3 years too early living an independent adult life in Banda Aceh, 5 years in Turkey, 2 years in Jakarta, and now I am in Canberra. I think what I want in this stage of my life is to own a tangible possession that will stay in one place even if I have to move around a lot.
You might say: "that's why we have family".
That's actually quite true. My parents live alone now and I could easily crash at their place at any time. But I think it is very different. I don't know how any of you thinks about the world. If you are an independent person like me - who resists making any inconveniences and insists that you want to earn everything with your own sweat - then you probably have the same life philosophy as me. That you have to earn everything by yourself.
Still, family is always family. I always look forward to visiting them. And soon as I own my own place, I really look forward to inviting my parents to come and live with me.
Another realisation I had was that my relationship with my home town (my place of birth) has been reduced to " an occasional visit only" kind of relationship. To be frank, I cannot see myself living there permanently in the long run. For a start, I don't know anything about farming and I like warm weather better (which is the opposite of my birth place). Basically, I just don't have the survival skills to live there. While in a big city like Jakarta, I feel like I know how to earn a living better. Even though what I do might simply just things like giving private tutorial and work for a social project. At least, I know how to do it. I have tried it last year, and I think that had proven one thing: my survival instinct is best suited for a big city than an agricultural town.
Like most screwed up kids, I blame my parents for my lack of farming skill (LOL). Even though both of my parents are farmers themselves, for the most parts of my formative years they did not take me to the farm that often. I asked them the reason once. My dad simply said: "I don't want you to be comfortable with it." That certainly works. When you rarely go to the farm, once you are asked to go, your body instantly resists it. Not trying to be a spoiled brat or something, but I always get itchy if I go to the farm - even if I go there only for an hour. You might say: "everybody does." To avoid any further speculation, I would not respond with another excuses. I would simply say: A great point!
Back to the idea of owning a house.
"But you are still 26, why do you have to worry about owning a house now?"
Many of my peers are consumed with the idea of marriage. But I feel like marriage should not be an end goal. Well, maybe it is. One thing about marriage that I can't quite understand is the idea of a lavish wedding reception. You are young and broke. Yet, you want to spend 100M rupiah for a day of celebration? Why don't you invest that money into buying a house? A day of haha hihi and you probably wouldn't be able to save up the 100M within a year of your 5M per month salary.
Yes, owning a house will not determine a happy marriage. But at least, it prevents any potential conflict within that marriage. At least, that's how I see it.
I think I would opt for a simple wedding with only my family present, as oppose to the other option.
Anyway, for now, I think I am not gonna worry about marriage. My two years in Canberra will be filled with the thoughts (obsession) of owning a house and getting a job that is relevant with my passion (and pay well, too).
So, when is the right time to think about marriage? I don't know!
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