“Stop fancying. Face the reality!”





Final exams have just finished but I have to take some more days, before planning what to do in these long summer holidays, to make sure all the lessons done well. But It has been two weeks passed and some of the lessons have already been announced. I failed one which stops my head to think about summer. Talking about summer it's not about vacation, trip or something. It's about what to do to fill that super long spare times. I don't want to just sit at home for entire summer. I do want to go somewhere but guess what? Money stops my way.

The only human being thought is to fill my summer with some useful stuff. Like working, perhaps? I don't mind if I should work. But the thing is, is there anyone who wants to hire me? I'm short and I'm Asian.

I won’t think about that. Now I want focus to that lesson, the one I failed. I should study extra to pass 'make up exam.' My problem is classic. I didn't carefully read the instruction. Well, that's all me. I always please myself whenever I do things incomplete. "I'm satisfied
with imperfect number." 

“100 is not my number but what close to that number is what I'm expecting.”

I could do better actually, but I never want to recheck things before showing it to public. I believe ‘flowing like water’ is what it should be. Let them flow and never stop their ways. I’m too reckless: doing something unconsciously. My head stops working when I’m doing something. It goes itself. No pilot drives him. 

Probably I’m typically alike to Oedipus? 

He admires his own intelligent. He’s temperamental. He does something without thinking “Impietious,” which brings him to the downfall, he figured out the fact that he has murdered his own father and sleep with his mother. Which also means he has fulfilled the oracle that says “One day he’ll kill his own mother and marry with the mother.”

I didn’t have any oracle like that. I don’t believe in oracle, though. But as far as I can see, I do something like ‘that’ a lot. In making decision, I haven’t thought about what to happen later. I think only about ‘NOW.’ 

I easily get angry, reckless, and impatient in doing or facing something. I realize that but sometime it happens unexpectedly. It happens before I can’t even think. It works autopilotly. Probably because it’s been spreading all over my blood.  It plagues my soul and controls my head? Huh? 

Wake up! Wake up!

“Stop fancying. Face the reality!”

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