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| courtesy of https://www.caba.org.uk |
after high school, which is also the time when they leave for college. Leaving for college signifies the
beginning of their independent lives. That may be the same for other cultures, but unlike the American
one, children in other cultures such as Indonesia are expected to return home after graduation and
resumes life as it was. In America, in contrast, it’s considered odd to live with your parents as an adult.
beginning of their independent lives. That may be the same for other cultures, but unlike the American
one, children in other cultures such as Indonesia are expected to return home after graduation and
resumes life as it was. In America, in contrast, it’s considered odd to live with your parents as an adult.
Similarly, when it comes to the parents, in America it seems very normal to not take parents in to live
with you even though they are old and perhaps sick. Alternatively, parents will stay in the retirement
home, where they will be cared for by the home staff. In other cultures - say, Indonesia, this is be
considered cruel or even ungrateful (for everything that parents have sacrificed for the children.)
with you even though they are old and perhaps sick. Alternatively, parents will stay in the retirement
home, where they will be cared for by the home staff. In other cultures - say, Indonesia, this is be
considered cruel or even ungrateful (for everything that parents have sacrificed for the children.)
In the context I have just described I, therefore, am considered less of an Indonesian. I am in my mid 20s
and ever since I was 13, I have never lived with my parents for more than 2 months.
and ever since I was 13, I have never lived with my parents for more than 2 months.
However, reality faces me last time I visited home for Eid. We are a family of four. 3 of my brothers have
got married and live in their own houses. This leaves my parents completely alone. There are only the
two of them left in the house. Yes, from time to time my brothers will visit but that’s about it.
got married and live in their own houses. This leaves my parents completely alone. There are only the
two of them left in the house. Yes, from time to time my brothers will visit but that’s about it.
When I was home my mother happened to be sick and apparently that has been going on for quite
sometimes. My mother has an allergy that affects her breathing system. Whenever she gets in contact
with dust or strong spicy smell, her body will react and she will have difficulty to breath. As a child I am
very worried for her condition and in that very moment the thought about “who will care for my parents
when their health declines?” dominates me.
sometimes. My mother has an allergy that affects her breathing system. Whenever she gets in contact
with dust or strong spicy smell, her body will react and she will have difficulty to breath. As a child I am
very worried for her condition and in that very moment the thought about “who will care for my parents
when their health declines?” dominates me.
I am not home most of the time. Currently I live in Jakarta in a kost-kostan (a dorm type of housing
where you get to rent one of the rooms) which makes it very impossible to take my parents in with me.
And I don’t think they will want that either. They have their own house where they have lived their
entire life. They have known the community which can be difficult to find in a place like Jakarta where
community life is very much a non-existence. But that is just my assumption. Perhaps they long for
an adventure? Perhaps they are tired with the same place and the same people all the time?
where you get to rent one of the rooms) which makes it very impossible to take my parents in with me.
And I don’t think they will want that either. They have their own house where they have lived their
entire life. They have known the community which can be difficult to find in a place like Jakarta where
community life is very much a non-existence. But that is just my assumption. Perhaps they long for
an adventure? Perhaps they are tired with the same place and the same people all the time?
As a child I do think about my parents and their happiness is one of my priorities, especially my mom.
She has lived the same life for her entire life. She has been a good wife and a good daughter in law.
She has never left the house because she had to care for my grandmother who was old and sick.
And now in her old days, I think she deserves to enjoy life.
She has lived the same life for her entire life. She has been a good wife and a good daughter in law.
She has never left the house because she had to care for my grandmother who was old and sick.
And now in her old days, I think she deserves to enjoy life.
My plan for my parents will be to let them enjoy life. Visit places that they have never visited before.
My mom has never been to Jakarta, so I want to take her to see Jakarta. And one day when I own
a house I want to take them in to live with me as long as they want it. I may not be able to go back
home to care for them, but I hope they will be willing to come and live with me.
My mom has never been to Jakarta, so I want to take her to see Jakarta. And one day when I own
a house I want to take them in to live with me as long as they want it. I may not be able to go back
home to care for them, but I hope they will be willing to come and live with me.
As of today, we haven’t discussed who will care for father and mother. Would it be my oldest brother,
my second brother, my third brother, or even me? I will be very happy to take the responsibility to
care for them. We will see!
my second brother, my third brother, or even me? I will be very happy to take the responsibility to
care for them. We will see!
What about your culture? Are children expected to take parents in and care for them once they grow old?
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