The Life You Wanted To Be

I should admit that I am a judgemental person. I keep protesting things that not fit to my mind or things that don’t fulfill my expectation. It does not always have to be stated. It could be just sounding in my head but it’s quite frustrating. 

When I heard about literature, what I expected is a bunch of people that love books a lot. People that love to talk to each other about books, discussing.  There would be many working group, book club, book review etc. When I did not get that expectations, my judgemental radar comes out and it seduces me to judge. To say “what the hell is this?” 

I was not ‘books freak’ until I was in high school. Even today, the list of the books that I read is not that much. I can count it by my fingers. But it affects my point of view through life, through everything. And I wanted to put its realization in to my daily life.

I was once inviting some friends to make a book club kind of stuff. But there are always things that make them unaccomplished.  

“I thought that is literature all about!”

I realized I can’t force people to do what I want. I started to change my own life. I do things that I think is the best for me. I started to read. I went to library a lot. I finished one beautiful book in 3 days. It’s The New York Trilogy, written by Paul Auster. I could not keep him away from my hand. I brought it everywhere. I read it on the bus, before sleep and ya I enjoyed it so much. 
 

Today, like a few minutes ago, I watched a movie called ‘Jane Austen Book Club’ and I realized this is the kind of life I’m searching for. A band of people that get together to read books. 

“Book” is just a symbol but what they can get from that activity is a healthy relationship. Book can bring people to sit together. Book is part of social life. You can socialize with people from different background and forget, for awhile, things that bother your head. Or even, you can open up your problem to the club and they can give you solutions. And, telling your problem, according to psychological knowledge, is also a solution. 

I like to sketch my future life or maybe you call them dreams. I would love to have a life where I can find people who like to read. We can read together. Make a book club. Discuss with them wherever you want. While hang out, perhaps. I just don’t think sit at the random café shop for talking empty thing is good idea. Why didn’t we arrange our day to meet where the hell ever you want and hold some book in your hand. Make a review of the weekly or perhaps when your have some sparetime. Doesn’t it worth it?

Reading doesn’t mean believing. Read them all but you can decide “agree” or “disagree.” That’s how it works.

  

P.s:

When I write something it doesn’t have to be relevant. I make it all up to my head.